Heres to having nothing to say

I have nothing important to talk about right now.

My weekend wasnt as fun as i thought it was going to be.

But i really dont care.

I am so happy right now purely because I hit rock bottom not to long ago.

And ever since then things have only gotten better for me.

I know what I want in my life.

I am no longer lost or confused.

And it feels amazing.

According to my formspring.com, someone would give it all to have a shot at love with me but they are afraid that I will say no if i knew who they were. My mom and I were talking about it so secret person out there, if your reading this, stay secret if you want but talk to me. over formspring or over my blog. :]]]

BUT i cant write much right now to be honest cause im watching BRAZZZZIIIIIIIIIILLLL dominate over chile so, i promise a good one tomorrow!!!

-Kim

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

Its June 24th, 2010 at 12:30 in the afternoon

and i think im dying.

No but really. I have the most violent hiccups of my life right now. I tried to swallow some water and I hiccuped while swallowing and well lets just say i spat the water everywhere. these hiccups are really starting to make my body sore too. Its like the best workout in the world. Weirdly though i actually am likin these hiccups. The sound is like a perfect "HIC-CUP". I have always liked weird things. I love the sound of my voice right when im losing it. I love sneezing because my sneeze is so loud (and over dramatized a bit) and sometimes i get so into the sneeze i end up hitting my head on something. The worst feeling in the world to me is when you HAVE to sneeze soooo bad but it just wont come out and you stand there staring at the sun trying to force the sneeze out and it just wont happen. And you feel so unsatisfied and defeated. Its horrible. Other weird things i like: peeling sunburn, clavicles, different shaped ears, chipped nail polish, people with too much jewelry on, burping after drinking something SUPER carbonated, scratching a really good scratch, peeling off scabs, talking to people i dont know, dancing in large crowds when no one else is dancing, and the list really goes on and on. I think im kind of a weird kid and if you dont think i am then thank you because that means that you have found some sort of normalcy in me that i havent found yet and i would love to know what it is. :)
Ive got a good weekend ahead of me and I cant wait to be with all my friends (its not like im not with them everynight of every day lol) but I also get to see my sister and all my family members on sunday and I honestly can not remember the last time we all got together so it will be nice. The office i work at is so quite right now and time is literally not moving. i looked at the clock ten minutes ago and i just looked at it again and its only been about 2 minutes. But I KNOW FOR A FACT its been ten minutes.

So, update on Aveda. I have one more appointment to make and then I start November 29th. At my next appointment with the admissions lady, i will be paying my application fees and KIT FEE!!!!!! AHHHH im so excited. I will have my very own Aveda Kit! complete with mannequin heads, clippers, brushes, combs, straightner, dryer, diffuser, books, and more. And of course my very own Aveda Institute uniform shirts. I am just beyond excited. But it has me thinking so much about my future. I graduate from school christmas 2011. That is soooooo soon! And then i am done. I will be officially out in the real world. And there are so many things that I planned to do in college that I will no longer be able to do before im there. But at the same time a lot of those plans have come true. I wanted to find myself in college, I wanted to experience something new, I wanted to get a good education doing something I love to do and wont regret choosing years from now, and I want love. I think that in the year I will be at Aveda I will be able to accomplish most everything with the exception of love because you cant really accomplish love. Love happens. Which brings me to a point that has been on my mind for some time now. Some couples spend so much time trying to work on their love and try to make love happen again but when did love become something that we can control? Love is love. And it is a feeling and something that is rooted in your heart and once there grows into something amazing and everlasting. You cant work on a feeling. You cant make yourself feel something thats not truly in your heart.
anywho thats my two cents and a half on dat.
Im lookin forward to a good life. I will hit a lot of bumpy roads but I know I can be strong no matter what. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. We are only given one life, no re-dos, so live it up and live it well :))))) have a great weekend all and keep the comments comin!!
-Kim

And may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars.

Look me straight in the eyes and tell me everything you have told me lately. Cant do it? Didnt think so.

So I have so much I want to write about. HOWEVER. All my thoughts are currently jumbled in my brain and I cant think what-so-ever. So while I take the day to organize my thoughts, I decided to take one of those surveys to fill in for todays post. Sound good? Ya i thought so too.

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten People:

1. You are my bestest friend and you have been there for me no matter what this summer. We have made what could have been a sucky summer into one of the best ones yet. You have no idea how much I cherish our friendship and I hope that we can stay friends forever and ever and ever!

2. Words cannot describe how happy I am that I met you this summer. You are an amazing girl and I looooooove you. bffffffsssssss :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

3. Through thick and thin you guys have been there for me. I love yall so much and I wish that I could repay you for all the amazing things yall have done for me. I am so thankful that we have such a good relationship and I hope that it only gets stronger with the years.

4. I secretly adore you.

5. You went from being a pretty great friend to being probably the worst friend possible. I really dont consider you a friend at all anymore. Your never there for me and I really dont feel like trying anymore than I already did. Sorry.

6. You are the fakest person I know. Maybe when you can be one personality for longer than a week, we could be friends again.

7. I love you with all my heart. Your the best friend someone could ask for. Please take care of yourself and dont let the little things bug you. You are an amazing girl and I wish you could see that. GofranksGO.

8. Sometimes I miss you. Sometimes I wonder why I wasted so much time with you. Sometimes I resent you. Overall though, im glad we arent us anymore. Its for the best. We arent as perfect as we thought we were.

9. Your just as bad as number 5. You just dont realize it. You talk a lot behind the backs of others and then get your feelings hurt when you find out someones talking about you. Karmas a bitch i guess.

10. You are a loser.

Nine things about myself:
1. I have some of the best friends possible. They are amazing people and you should probably get to know them
2. I sleep completely surrounded by pillows and stuffed animals. It makes me feel safe and not so lonely
3. I either really trust people or have very little trust in people. Theres no like middle ground for me
4. I love talking to people and making them laugh. Interacting with people is one of the best feelings in the world to me
5. Drama really stresses me out but a lot of times I find myself in the middle of it because I am usually friends with both sides and me being the stupid person i am tries to help work out both sides.
6. I am a very forgiving person as long as you talk to me. Im not going to waste my time on you though if your just sitting back and talking behind my back. Im still friends with some boyfriends/friends that have been so mean to me in the past purely because we have been able to talk things out and forgive eachother.
7. I have really bad ADHD the inattentive form of it so if it looks like im not paying attention to you just like wave your hand in front of me or something. And if you want me to do something for you I usually dont have a problem doing it but just remind me every once in a while cause my memory is not very good
8. I am extremely addicted to candy.
9. I have learned that living your life is better than dwelling on the past and wasting your life. I am very open and honest and I feel like it has benefited me so much. Get to know me. You may be surprised.

Eight ways to win my heart.
1. I love someone that can make me laugh for hours
2. Get me candy and baby back ribs
3. Be open and honest ALWAYS
4. Surprise me every now and again. Theres nothing more boring than doing the same thing every day
5. Take me on adventures
6. Dont try to make me jealous cause believe me I will get jealous and when I do its just not fun for either of us.
7. Have your own life and let me into it. Dont make me your whole life and I wont make you my whole life. Sharing is caring lol
8. Let me know your feelings :]]

Seven things that cross my mind a lot.
1. love
2. my family
3. friends
4. my future
5. boys
6. music
7. my fears

Six things I do before I fall asleep
1. Brush my teeth
2. Put on my most comfortable shirt
3. Fluff my pillow
4. Swan dive into bed
5. Listen to music
6. Shut my eyes

Five people who mean a lot
1. God.
2. My family.
3. The Crew (savy, drewbie, nasty, sarah, frednugs, jakey.....best crew ever lol)
4. My old math tutor Mrs. Ford. She is the reason why I passed high school
5. You (you know who you are. no matter what. ill always care)


Four things you're wearing right now.
1. A black and white top
2. Jean Capris
3. My favorite green flats
4. underwear

Three songs that you listen to often.
1. Pretty Boy Swag
2. With you (stars of track and field)
3. We do it for fun parts 1-5

Two things you want to do before you die.
1. Love someone with ALL of my heart.
2. Live with no regrets.

One confession.
1. Sometimes i find bad things in people just to be angry with them or just to hate them to prevent them from hurting me first.

** i want to hear yalls feedback. AND ALSO. please do not assume the ten things i would like to say to people are about you and freak out and text me all in a panic. Just give me a number and ill tell you who its referring to kay?**

-Kim

And this, this could be the summer when i grow up

Yesterday I saw a ghost from my past. I saw him. Not frequently blogged about him but THE original him. Confusing I know. But weirdly, it actually was really helpful. I mean its not like i talked to him but i saw him and stalked him out for a couple minutes (lol) but it made me realize something huge. I dated him for the longest time. We were always on and off and then on again and then off again. But when we finally ended things for good. My heart was truly broken. This guy was my world for so long and he was one of the only real boyfriends I ever had. While there is no doubt in my mind that I do not have a single feeling for this guy anymore, it kind of makes me sad that we do not even talk anymore. And as petty as this sounds we arent even facebook friends. Its like i stare at pictures of when we were us and it sucks because I do not remember those times as vividly as I remember the long drawn out break up we had. It just makes me come to terms with other boys and other relationships ending because its like this was the most serious thing I ever had and look where I am now. I am over this boy and my life has moved on. Break ups are NEVER the end of the world. As much as they hurt and tear you apart, in the end they only make you stronger. He has a girlfriend now and I am very happy for him. They seem good together and as much as I would like to talk to him and catch up on his life, it probably will never happen. But i do want to thank him for loving me when he did and breaking up with me when he did because after all of that I know what I want and I know how I should be treated and I am so much stronger because I know that if i can get through that terrible break up then i can literally get through any break up.

I love my friends. Like so much. My friend sav is pretty much my life coach when it comes to boys and she literally made my day this morning when i was telling her about my little encounter yesterday. "I have done a WHOOOLEEEE lot of thinking on first loves and ex boyfriends and have come to the conclusion that every guy contributes to your life in a very important way. Some have your past but only one has your future. Its just a matter of figuring out which guy is meant for what point in your life. S was the best guy for you while you dated and B was in high school now you just have to wait for the one who will carry you into the next chapter of your life" and that just opened my eyes and made me see so much more clearly then i have in a while. I dont know what im saying right now though. I am so tired and I honestly think I am going to go into a coma right now. All that needs to be said is that I adore my friends and my life right now is amazing. I had some tough times leading up to this past year and I truly do believe now that if you just keep pluggin away and not letting your bad moments stop you from living your life, you will be rewarded and your life wont always suck :)

And since I havent written anything about this subject yet i guess I will take the time to write: BRAZIL IS GOING TO WIN THE WORLD CUP. no questions asked. Im watching the US game right now at work and I think im literally going to throw this computer against a wall if i see one more facebook post about how much howard sucks. HOWARD CARRIES THE US TEAM. its not his fault that his defensive line cant figure out how to get rid of the ball. But lets get real here. Brazil is just an overall great team. They work perfectly together, they have amazing ball handling skills (bahahaha) and they are just amazing.

Have a great weekend people. :-) and hey, keep sendin me stuff and feedback!!!
-Kim

crazy nights and days
love summer '10 :)

Heres to dressing like a prep and talking like a punk

No joke. I look like I just rolled out of the hamptons right now. I am wearing a white sweater and like a classy shirt and jeans (rolled up once of course) and white sperrys with seashells on them. Im only this preppy right now because I decided to go after my one true love: Chuck Bass. Oh gossip girl how i love you. No joke though. People lately have asked me did you like going to private school for pretty much your whole life? And to be honest, I loved it. I was sheltered for a lot longer than most kids so I didnt really grow up too fast. And also, private school made me realize the kind of person that i dont want to be. I do not want to be the stuck up rich private school girl sterotype. I want to just be me. I am not going to act like i have something or that i am something when im not. Private school definately has its advantages but you have to make sure that while your at one, you stay true to yourself even if your true self doesnt quite fit in with the rest of the people. It really is not that big of a deal. Just because you dont fit in, in one place doesnt mean you dont fit in anywhere. But in all seriousness, I just stepped out of a J Crew catalog with my outfit. I feel weird hahaha.

So. grrr. Most people know that I have a lot of pet peeves. So when choosing friends I pretty much go with the ones that have the least of my pet peeves. Its a problem I have I know and its not the best thing in the world and I really struggle with it a lot. Its not like i really like the fact that certain things really make me angry. And my mom and many people have helped me out tremendously in realizing whats something to really get upset about and whats just a small issue. I have learned to control my tone because when i say something you cant take it for face value. You have to understand my tone to understand the context of what I am trying to say. I never intentionally try to hurt people or anything like that.

I want to be clear about something. I have no hatred in my heart for you. Like ive said before in some of my other posts, I want the best for you and my hopes is that because we were only us for such a short time, that we will have the ability to get past our stubborn ways and just be friends. Your a great person and when you try, you are an amazing friend. I want you to be careful and take care of yourself. You have so much potential but life gets harder as you get older and you have to be driven to push yourself to reach that potential. I hope that we can stay close because I know you can do big things but you just have to believe that yourself.

AND why is it that people think that because you are hanging out with someone that you are mutually friends with they are automatically invited? Do not use me for your well being. Just because we were best friends doesnt mean we are anymore. Things are different, times have changed and i really dont value our friendship anymore. During our first year of college you dipped out and were more concerned about other distractions and you forgot about me. I tried many times to reconnect with you but you were always to busy for me. So ya it sucks because now im too busy for you. Dont act so nonchalant about everything because im not gonna be the same ohmygoshsohappytoseeyou person that i was when we were close friends. Sorry :/ you did it to yourself.

I know this guy. And he has become probably my closest friend. And it honestly is SOOO scary how well he can read me. NO other person on the face of the earth can read me the way he does. Like he figured out something that i felt like i hid very very well. He realized that something that has been getting me down for a while now is actually something that doesnt really upset me at all. He is a great friend. And i am very thankful :]

-Kim

Ive got a pocket full of Sunshine

So...i really dont understand these little games your trying to play with me. But you might just want to stop, your wasting your time. Because we can both play those games, but you just dont even realize im so much better at them than you are. You havent even seen the worst of me yet. And i really hope that no one that ive become friends with recently has to see that cause its not very nice. :) anyways.....

We had a GOOD night last night. I love my friends but I misssseddd sav. SO COME HOME NOW MISSSS! your tan enough and everyone misssssssessss you. But for serious. I have recently been blessed with some really great friends. Some new some old but seriously I just feel like everything is falling into place perfectly. Everything happens for a reason and to be honest if i were in certain situations now that i was previously in, I dont think that my life would be working as well as it is. Take for example. My dream since I was little was to go to cut hair. For some reason I just have always wanted to do that. When I was in like 8th grade or something I started going to Van Michals Salon and my stylist Jenny, the most AMAZING person, told me she went to the Aveda Institute. Ever since then it has been my dream to go to Aveda. Jenny had such an impact on my life and I have always wanted to be just like her. She would always tell me I was her little sister cause we had similar crazy curly hair (hers was WAY curlier) and she was always helping me with boys and school and everything. This past year I got into a relationship with someone that I cared for very much. Things obviously went to fast and I started compromising my happiness to try and make this person happy. The person one day decided to tell me that they were transferring schools and if we were meant to be then we would work it out. So instead of being like oh ok ya sounds good, I almost went to another cosmetology school just to be closer to him!! WHY DO WE GIRLS DO THIS!? why do we compromise our lives our plans our happiness for BOYS!? Because looking back there was NO hesitation in his decision to change schools. But in all honesty, i am happier than ever right now. My life is perfect. **knock on wood** i have my hard times BELIEVE ME. but look at everything that is positive in my life. And to anyone ANYONE that is feeling down and low right now, like me, you have the ability to change that. One of the main reasons why your low, like i was, is because your dwelling. Dwelling on the past, on what could be, when you should wake up and see that you have SO much you can do with your life and so many positives that could appear in your life but they are never going to happen if you keep living in the past! Live for the moment. Live free and forget about your negatives.

I want to take this time to thank everyone for reading this and giving me so much support on this. I love you all and I still want to hear what everyone thinks about it and im always open to new things to write about soooo dont be shy! Let me know via text or facebook!!!!!

-Kim

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
-marilyn monroe

And every things going to the beat

I dont need you. You say you dont talk that much but thats a lie. And you and I both know that so do not play that game with me. Your fake and selfish. You think youve hit rock bottom? You have no idea what rock bottom is. You do not care about anyone. There are bigger problems in the world than what your going through right now and you got yourself into exactly what your dealing with right now so i have ZERO sympathy for you. You play me like I am a fool. And I feel like you think that I NEED you in my life. I dont. You take up a very little part of my life now because I know you feel the same way about me. Why the heck should I show anymore concern for you if your not going to do the same for me? I wish I could say that I hope this never happens to you but I mean who am I kidding. It happens to everyone. So when it happens to you im going to sit back and watch you crumble. Just like your doing to me right now. You tell me one thing and then let me down later on. Just stop. Grow up. We are adults. This isnt high school so stop being so gay (i apologize to the gay community the use of that word is not to be taken as a derogatory term). Oh and next time you decide to be a hypocrit, take it elsewhere cause I have no time for that kay? You were supposed to be there for me through a time like this and you dipped out. Friend or not you know stuff about me that no one else knows and I honestly regret telling you so much and letting you into my life so much. You punked out. Thats all I can say. When things got just a little hard you dipped. Just like you did with everything. When friends got weird you ignored them. When school got too much you quit trying. When things got rough with me and you, you took the easy road out. And now. Your life is messed up. You go back to what your comfortable with because your scared of the real world and scared of taking risks that could actually be good for you. So ya. If your happy with the life your living and how your treating people then good for you. But if that is the case, you better get your eye sight checked cause your not seeing clearly. And you best believe I am not the only one that believes you messed up.

I am not in a bad mood. Ha not at all actually. I think I may have a fever but thats all. I had to vent for a second but now I am allllll GOOOOOOOOOD. I love my friends fo real though. Like real talk. Last night we played a late night game of four square and swung on swings. Ha its nights like that, that make you feel like a kid again. With me having to grow up so fast and make so many adult decisions and careers ahead of me its nice to go back to my roots and just be a kid again. Cause before I know it I am going to be a serious workin woman ha. One thing though. I just thought of was how scared I am that people wont take me seriously in the real world. I am still pretty young and I will be working in a salon by the time I am 20 but lets be honest here, I look about 16 or 17 so i mean what person is going to want to come get their hair done by a stylist that looks like a kid? I think im gonna get surgery done to make me taller and older looking HA just kidding. I am thankful for my youthful look cause before I know it im gonna be saggy and gross haha not a pretty picture.

Anyways its 5 which means OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRK!!!! yayayayayayayayay. But for those of you who read this send me a text or a facebook message and give me some ideas of what to talk about!! I wont mention your name or anything I just love being able to have topics to talk about. I have an opinion about nearly everything lol so let me know!! Dont be shy!!!

-Kim

ps. i hope all this makes sense. I just drank some hot tea and it had some caffeine in it and now im bouncin off the walls hahaha

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold

Before I get into this whole blog business, something very traumatic just happened to me. As most people know I work in an office building and I believe there are only two other women (besides myself) that work here (my mom is one of the two :]]]]]]) anyways. Today I am the only girl here so it kinda sucks being stuck in an office building for 8.45 hours with grumpy men (lol) Today, I decided to wear a high waisted skirt that clings to my butt a little when I walk so i always have to make sure I pull it down right when I get up. Of course the one time I get up and I do not think to adjust my skirt, the skirt rides up and part of my cheek is hangin out. Such a tragic experience. I honestly do not know if anyone saw anything but it was embarrassing none the less.

Ive have butterflies flying around me. But im putting my guard up and staying true to myself. Maybe I will be surprised at how far being myself can get me. I heard news today. Good news maybe. I just hope this good news comes true. Its not like I am hoping for anything or praying that by some stroke of luck I get my wishes, Im just happy that I may get a chance to hang out with someone Ive been wanting to hang out with for a while.

Okay. Does anyone else have a HUGE problem with this whole Jordan Van Der Sloot thing? Like really? He was quoted saying that he only killed that Stephany Flores girl because "she intruded his private life". From what I gather, she was looking through his computer. Big deal. So because she looked through his computer he felt compelled to kill her. That guy has something seriously wrong with him. Like with the whole Natalee Holloway thing he pretty much confessed to disposing of her body elsewhere but he claims he didnt kill her? Honestly what kind of sick person can sit back and feel no remorse for KILLING SOMEONE! I hope this guy gets thrown in jail for the rest of his life and made into someones prison girlfriend or something like that cause he deserves to be abused.

And one more thing about current events I guess....I read online today that Gary Coleman's wife was selling pictures of him dead. That is sick. Like who could say they loved someone sooooo much and then try to make money off their death. That does not sound like true love to me. I am sure that Gary Coleman would not want people buying pictures of his dead body. I mean I know I wouldnt want people buying pictures of me dead....thats just weird. How has our society become so desensitized? Cant we have a little consideration for people?

Blahhhh. I had quiet the adventure last night. Ha. Very strange but always interesting with my friends. ljfal;djfa;fdja;kdfjal I am literally just out of words right now. I think thats a first for me. I am usually NEVER out of words but I just.......................idk.

Last night I had a dream about you

In this dream I'm dancing right beside you
And it looked like everyone was having fun
the kind of feeling I've waited so long

Don't stop come a little closer
As we jam the rythm gets stronger
There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun
We were dancing all night long

The time is right to put my arms around you
You're feeling right
You wrap your arms around too
But suddenly I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it this dream was all gone

Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
I wish this dream comes true

Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
We'll make this dream come true

Why don't you play the game ?
Why don't you play the game ?

jittery jittery jittery jittery blah blah blah blah :) :) :) :) happy happy happy

-Kim


random spontaneous fun is the best fun you can have :]

Heres to having too much of nothing on my mind

I feel like theres something more I can say or do to work something out. But its not worth it.

I just started writing something like super deep about happiness and such but then I realized how annoying it was so I deleted it. But something I would like to discuss right now. My fears. Or fear I guess. I recently took my entrance exam for my dream school, The Aveda Institute. I was literally certain that I had failed it. I am NOT a test taker. I get extreme anxiety and sometimes I have to sit back and talk myself down from almost passing out. Its bad and I feel like most people didnt know that I had such bad anxiety but I guess the one thing in life I really doubt myself on is my academics. No matter how much I study or how hard I try I still find myself looking at something and almost giving up because I just dont think I would understand or know it. So anyways. The lady came back into the room and told me that I passed and I had done so well that I didnt have to take the second portion. Thank God. So I am officially in Aveda. I couldnt be happier and I am so excited with the new life that I am starting for myself however....that is also what is causing me so much fear and anxiety. I quit college to pursue something that I have always wanted to do but never really tried before. I dont know the first thing about cutting hair or anything like that. What if I suck at cutting hair and doing make up and all that stuff. Then what? Its scary because I feel like I am taking such a risk and the one person that I ever really shared this all with isnt really in my life anymore so im just stressed and I just want to start the school like now instead of November so I can just start feeling more comfortable. I should just live at the school until I go there because everytime I walk into that building I just feel right. Its amazing. Like I honestly feel like I belong there. So everyone say your prayers and wish me luck because if I fail at this I honestly do not think I would be able to recover.

And you. All I want is for you to be happy. I want the best for you even if the best for you isnt me. But please give me the respect of wanting the same for me. Dont fool around with my feelings and do things that I know you wouldnt normally do. Your not the same anymore and I respect that, neither am I, but just be nice because you dont understand this feeling because youve never had to go through it. Just because you dont feel the same doesnt mean you can treat me the way youve been treating me. You dont want to fight? Neither do I. what makes you think I want to fight? But just step back and look at the situation. Ive had every right to get upset or bothered by the things that I have. Just be a little sensitive thats all im asking.

Monster.
How should I feel?
Creatures lie here.
Looking through the window...
That night he caged her.
Bruised and broke her.
He struggled closer.
Then he stole her.
Violet wrists and then her ankles.
Silent Pain.
Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams.

-Kim

My two idols: Annie Leibovitz (photographer) and Tina Fey

From Pirates to Posers and everything in between

When I grow up I want to be a pirate. I want to explore the world and live with no limits. I want to discover new places and find joy in being free. With the exception of my probable need to take Dramamine all the time, life on the see would be the life for meee. All I need now is to find a co-pirate :) Living my life like that would be ideal. It would be so drama free worry free. But thats not real life. Real life throws you curve balls and puts you in situations to make you stronger. While I hate that life can really suck sometimes, I am the person I am today because of bad situations that helped me improve myself. So maybe I should live my life, my normal life, go through everything, experience everything and I can retire when Im old and then I can finally be a pirate :)

*uhm just a side note about being a pirate....its meant to be. Im drinking a tea right now called "Black Pearl" coincidence? i think not*

I am finally at a place in my life where I know what I will be doing and I know what I want out of life. I have good friends and I dont need to waste my time on people that dont care for me the way I care for them. Im weeding out the negatives and filling the open spots with positive things. I was just recently talking to a friend. Ive known her for about 4 years now. And she is honestly one of my only high school friends that has kept in close touch with me and that I still have a great connection with. She is going through a situation similar to mine and we were talking today about boys (of course) and questioning why we ever thought we needed these people in our lives once they hurt us. Its like we feel we need these people from our past and we yearn to text them and call them but what do we actually get out of the situation? nothing. we get hurt again. Its time for us (and anyone feeling the same pain) to move on. Life will be so much more positive if you can get rid of the negatives. You CAN control the negatives and positives in your life. You ARE in control of your life. So why settle for emptiness and unhappiness. Why sit back and dwell because lord knows the person your fretting over is NOT fretting over you. Like the movie "Hes just not that into you" the guy says "if a guy really likes you, he WILL make it happen" so ladies, lets live our lives and let the boys come to us and boys, get a move on cause being single is only fun for so long until it becomes too lonely.

Have you ever met a poser. Like truly met someone and then the next day talked to the same body but met a completely different person. And then the day after that body transforms into another person. ha. Okay people lets get one thing straight. Your never going to find happiness, true friends, or a soulmate if your always posing. I know this girl. I used to consider her a VERY close friend. When she was with me she was normal, fun loving, always up for a good time. Then she met another girl. My friend, lets just call her friend from now on, friend and this other girl started talking. And before I knew it they were literally twins. And its not just this one occurrence. This girl literally had 4 different personalities back in the day. It amuses me. Cause she acts so above everyone and so much different but in reality she is exactly what she is constantly saying she hates. Normal. Your not any different when you TRY to be different. There are those special people out there that are just quirky and different. And you can tell a difference between those people and the people who are just being quirky and different just to fit a personality they think they like. See that kind of stuff baffles me. Its like those kids that are all friends cause they think they are just so different and meant to be different in the world are really not different. cause they are hanging out with like 20 of the same personalities. (make sense? maybe? maybe not?) They are posers. POSERS. I felt the need to make that big. But for real. People you know how you can be different? By being yourself. Cause I guarantee you there is no one else in the world who is you. ha.

I need one thing and one thing only in my life. Happiness. And i think so far I am pretty happy. My life is going in the most perfect direction. I know exactly what I want and what Im doing. Im starting my career in like a year and a half! like its crazy how fast im growing up but im ready for it. My goal for the rest of this year is just not to let the little things get me down. I have to look at the big picture. I am fine. My life doesnt suck (even though sometimes i believe it does) there are so many people in the world that have less than me so I should just be happy with what im given. Life is something that should be cherished. So go out meet new people! Meet me! ( if you dont already know me). Do what you want and what you love.

Im gonna start ending these with song quotes or just songs titles that i would like to share mostly cause I either just heard the song and got really excited about it or the song is stuck in my head

So. You should probably go look up the song: "What if" By Meg and Dia.

Not scared.
I know you thought I was shakin' fast in my own two shoes
But these soles could fight the ocean waves,
Dirty laundry, and world war II

-Kim

Note to people: Grow Up.

;askldfj;sakjflkjasdlfja;s . I have so much on my mind right now I dont even know what to say. So i am going to make a list of everything i wish would happen right now:
-I wish people would grow up
-I wish drama was nonexistent
-I wish people were just honest
-I wish you wouldnt push me out
-I wish that I could unfriend someone on facebook without it seeming mean
-I wish that I could have some chipotle right now
-I wish you were here
-I wish you would let me back in
-I wish i had a dollar for every fake person ive ever met
-I wish i could go back to when things were good
-I wish you saw how much i care about you
-I wish that people would stop accusing me of staying and doing things i never did/said
-I wish my school didnt cost so much money
-I wish i had more money
-I wish i was at a pool right now or the beach
-I wish my stomach wasnt so messed up right now
-I wish people would stop acting like my friends if they actually dont like me
-I wish work would go by faster
-I wish you were ok
-I wish you would let me help you
-I wish that boys would stop being mean to my friends (and me :[[[ )
-I wish i wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in a land apart (hahahaha :]]]] )
-I wish i had new clothes
-I wish someone could just....treat me well. i feel like thats not asking much
-I wish you would open your eyes
-I wish she wasnt such a fake friend even after 4 years of knowing her
-I wish my hair was black
-I wish I could go to cali
-I wish I could be with my bessttessst friend drewbie right now cause he cheers me up
-I wish people would mind their own business
-I wish people ive known my whole life wouldnt judge me
-I wish you would just talk to me. text me. write me a letter. send me a message. anything

just to name a few wishes lol. help me out with some people how about that!! also, ive started a bucket list and i think its probably one of the greatest things ive written. just personally you know. im challenging myself to actually live my life and it is amazing!