I literally have nothing to say.
Ive been putting off posting something for like a good week now. It dawned on me that I have really only written about my problems and the stupid drama that has been in my life. But for the past few weeks there has been no drama in my life. There has been no fights. No anxiety. No stress. I dont feel like I have to walk on egg shells around people. I feel like now more than ever, since I have just been me and no one else, I havent had to deal with problems. Because to be honest if you come to me with drama, if you have drama with me, im probably not gonna care enough to fight you.
I felt entirely too lame driving into work today. Im a self proclaimed weirdo. I do and say things off beat. But today I think i hit anall time lame when I finally realized something. I drive by North Springs High School everyday on my way to work. There are usually a few kids walking to school on the sidewalk closest to me and they usually look a lot cooler than me. Of course me being the lame ass that I am, I think Im pretty cool goin to work, drivin my car, listening to loud music. So for some reason, I always turn on like really ghetto rap music when I drive by these kids. I put on my ray bans and kind of lean my seat back a little. I realized how lame I was today when I was scrabbling to put in my current "lookin cool drive by song"-Women Lie, Men Lie. As I finally popped the music in and put the shades on I realized that a bus full of high schoolers was staring at me the entire time I was doing this. My windows were down so they were most likely confused as to why i went from blasting some depressing Taylor Swift to attempting to be gangsta with some yo gotti....The light turned green and I drove away promptly changing it back to my normal morning ritual of depressing songs to really pep me up before 9 hours of sitting on my computer in a freezing cold office. YAY for full time jobs!!!
So staying true to my weird behavior, I am currently blasting A Day to Remembers "1958" in my office which is probably another type of music that doesnt quite fit my "look". Whatever though nothing I do or say really fits my look. I gave up trying to fit my look a long time ago. I would prefer to be free rather than tied down to silly genres of style that will mean nothing to me 10 years from now. just saying.
And to you and you. Good luck this next year. You will do great things and great things WILL happen for you. Dont give up on whats going on. Youve been a fighter since I met you years ago and I know that part of you hasnt changed. GOOD LUCK!!! and to YOU. I sometimes wish i could delete you. from everything. my phone. my facebook. my memory. my life. truth is i came to a realize not to long ago that i dont care. its sad. but true. SORRY!
LOVE. my beautiful best friends
-Kim
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