You seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting

Have you ever felt like a stranger in your own life? I feel like sometimes I do and say things that I just dont recognize myself doing. I feel like a different person and I dont know this person. Then there are times that I just dont feel like I fit in a certain place. Its like I can be so confident and so sure of myself but my location, my surroundings dont fit that. Sometimes I feel like my life is like a movie and this morning I had one of those moments that you see in films where the person is just standing still and everything is zooming by. I sat in my chair at work and almost had a complete break down. I am not perfect. I accept that. Why cant other people? I realized something else today; no matter how down I feel there is always someone that comes through and surprises me and actually gives me hope that the future will be better because these great people actually do exist in this world. Someone I have never met before went out of their way this morning to see if I was ok. Another girl today that I dont really know confided in me and we actually had a good talk. Its like why cant more people just relax and open their eyes to the world. These two people really had a huge impact on my day.

One thing that I would like to talk about, which I actually talked to this girl about today, is GIRLS. Girls why are we so mean. Why cant we just accept that not everyone wants to be our friends and if someone doesnt want to hang out with you, that doesnt give us the right to talk trash behind their backs. Most people that read this blog probably didnt know me back in elementary and middle school. Back in those days, I got picked on, A LOT. It never really bothered me because I have always been sort of an independent soul but getting picked on (esp in k-2nd grade) i grew a pretty thick skin and I started to not really have much sympathy for others. I changed schools going into 3rd grade and i vowed that things would be different. I became that girl that made other girls and boys lives just miserable. I was mean and at the time I thought I was happy. But I really didnt have friends. I had people that hung out with me because they feared me. Once I went to marist in 7th grade, I had that same attitude up until about 9th grade and thats finally when I woke up. I went to a friends house one night and a boy from my 6th grade class cornered me and told me that I made his life hell in 6th grade. I was at a loss for words. I kept apologized and assuring him that I was different. and while at the time I was still slowly learning to be nicer, I look back now and I dont even know that girl. I believe that everyone has potential to be good and do good. We are in charge of our happiness and our lives. You have the choice to be mean or to be nice. So i dont get it now. We are all mature young adults, you have the choice to do right and still, people are mean and ugly towards others. WHY? is it worth it. Is the little bit of pride that you gain from being mean to someone worth the years of guilt youll feel later? No. Its not worth it.

I am happy. After my break down this morning I started to piece things back together and I realized that everything happens for a reason and everytime you fall you always have the opportunity to get back up and try again. Life is too short not to take every advantage given to you. I leave you with this: I challenge each and everyone of you to do something that makes you nervous or scared. I promise you, after you do this, you will feel more alive than ever. Take risks be free. I would love to hear what you all do! Ill share my adventures with you if you share yours with me!!! Just message me on facebook!! Ill try to post some of the best ones I read!!

-Kim

**Dont ever be afraid to be yourself**
If your being judged your not with the right people