Second Go...on dating, on life, on EVERYTHING

How many times will the clock go around
How many times can my hands hit the ground
How many coffins before there's a crown
How far will I fall til the alarm sounds

How can you love me when I am ugly
Guess I can only hope

Give me a second go,
Don't let me go alone
You saw me at the worst,
You caught me falling first
All I wanted to know,
Give me a second go

No matter the weather there's never a break
Conquer a ladder then slip on a snake
Cried til my river turned into a lake
And I'm wondering now before it's too late

How can you save me when I am angry
Reasons I'll never know

Give me a second go,
Don't let me go alone
You saw me at the worst,
You caught me falling first
All I wanted to know,
Give me a second go

One to five I'm half alive, six to nine I'm out of line
Ten to twelve I'm not myself, by the millionth time
I try.

Give me a second go,
Don't let me go alone
You saw me at the worst,
You caught me falling first
All I wanted to know,

Give me a second go,
Don't let me go alone
You saw me at the worst,
You caught me falling first
All I wanted to know,
Give me a second go, give me a second go,
Give me a second go again

Give me a second go,
Don't let me go alone.

-Lights "Second Go"

Is it ok to be sad sometimes? I am usually a happy person, actually more so now than ever. Relationships have always been a struggle for me. I am a passionate person but with my passion comes jealousy. I dont mean to be jealous but its easy when you feel so much for someone and break down so many walls to let that person in and then you start feeling they are not doing the same to let you into their lives. Its like you give and give so much and get nothing in return and it makes you start to think that the reason why they arent letting you into their lives is cause they really dont want you there for too much longer and you start worrying and wondering when is the time going to come when yet another love is a love lost. Why do I feel like some of my past relationships I was more in love with the idea rather than the person. I used to feel that there is only ONE person out there in the world for everyone and slowly but surely I am falling back into that mindset. And its scary. How will I know when its the right one.. I really wish I had done things differently. I wish I could have had the power to slow things down and enjoy the little things. I wish that second chances were available esp. in times like this when you know you can do better and you know you can work it out. How do people go from being so head over heals to one person slowly drawing back while the other is trying to give everything they have. what makes one heart willing to break another heart. how can you go so fast from being crazy in love (waddup beyonce) to being unhappy with your partner. its so confusing to me. and im not singling out anyone or any relationship in particular im talking about just love and break ups in general.

I have really been struggling lately to find balance in my life but it is really hard sometimes. I want to be able to spend time with my parents and talk to them but i am just not good at expressing myself to them so when i find myself in times like this current time where i just constantly have a lot on my mind, its easier for me to just go out with a few people and forget about my problems or even just talk them out with people that I feel like understand what i am saying. I am not running from my problems at all its just easier for me to deal with them by not letting them affect my happiness.

I wish life was full of second chances though for real. If you were given a second chance, just one, what would you do?

-Kim