As most people know by now, I have decided to take an alternate direction in my education. I am not dropping out of college because I am lazy or unmotivated, I am dropping out because traditional education is not for everyone. I struggle with academics and I know that college just does not suit me. Cosmetology school has been my dream for the longest time. However after going to a private college prep school, the idea of pursuing this dream was lost and college was more pushed upon me. My parents support me 100%. They know I am a hard worker and it does kill me to work so hard in school and not ever do well but they and I both know that through Cosmetology school, I will succeed and my hard work will finally pay off.
I titled this blog with that quote because I feel like I am at a point where I feel I am fully in control of my life. Most people know that I am very independent and with the exception of medical needs, insurance, etc, I do and pay for everything. For my entire life I have gone to small schools. There has always been a small number of kids in my class and so the variety of people was not to large. Now that I am out of high school I have the option of picking and choosing who I am friends with. I was never really happy growing up because I was always changing myself to fit my group of friends. Looking back at some of my greatest high school memories, I see people that are not kind to me, that I don't really like, and people that straight up just piss me off. There are few people in those memories that I actually like. And up until about a week ago I was still letting those same people affect my life negatively. But to be honest now that I have figured out my life and my key to happiness, I decided to rid myself of these people. I am not going to be mean about it but I am not obligated to be friends with someone that I do not like. I contribute a lot to friendships because they mean so much to me and I constantly get let down. The small number of friends that I have are people that care about me the way I care about them. I am sick of being let down and I am putting an end to it. Do not take it personally if you find yourself becoming one of those people. Just get over it. You and I both know that if I decide to ditch a friendship, then that means that you probably just haven't been a good friend to me and if I were you I would take a careful look at all my friendships and see if I was doing the same to anyone else. I am tired of being used and I am not putting up with anything anymore. As harsh as it all sounds its truly what everyone should be doing. We shouldnt have to settle for anything. I am not promoting self absorption but you need to do and say things that make you happy. If more people stopped people pleasing and started concentrating on their lives I think that our highly depressed and medicated society would work a bit better. You have to put yourself before others first because no one can fully love you and you can not fully love someone unless you fully love yourself first.
Just my thoughts. Id love to hear your thinking on all of it. Im not interested in arguing any of this its just my opinion so don't take offense to any of it. Its just the way I see my life and my world.
-Kim
** Go be crazy. You only live
Once**
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