But if the silence takes you then I hope it takes me too

At what age are we supposed to stop acting immature and take responsibility for our lives? I am so sick of being around people who feel the need to control everyone and everything just to get their ways. We are 19 almost 20 now. When does the drama stop? Lately, I have been surrounding myself with people who see the bigger picture....if that makes sense. They dont let the little things get them upset, they donthold grudges, and they definitely are not two faced or fake. I have found people that actually can survive without drama and bullshit....and i love it.

I have not been able to get one certain thing off my mind for a while now. I have to make myself not think about this thing to get anything done, even sleep. Cause if im thinking about it before i sleep, the night flies by in a blur or dreams....about this thing.....and i wake up even more depressed that the happiness i found in my dreams will most likely never be fulfilled in real life. Im reaching out for something thats out of my reach. and it sucks. and I would 100% give up anything that could get in the way of this if i was given just one shot. but its like im invisible. and i cant seem to get noticed. i freeze. i stutter. my cheeks get red and hot and its just awful. everytime i think of this thing i get happy and lose hope all at once. AND i have not been playing any games or teasing at all since i realized that none of that matters and this is all i really want.....fml

So i counted the days till Aveda, and lets just say its over 100 days away and im DYING. i want to start school so bad. Aveda is literally the only thing that can distract me from my "thing". When im not thinking about the above, im thinking about Aveda. Is it weird to be so obsessedwith a school? Like my entire life ive always liked school but ive never been excited about it but this school is just so different and so perfect for me. :]]]]]]]] now if i can only convince sarah to go with me hmmmmmm :]]]]]]

My love ms. Sarah Martin.

-Kim