Never have I ever.

Never have I ever wanted to be at work less.

Never have I ever been so disappointed in someone.

Never have I ever felt so used by someone that should have loved me.

Never have I ever been more tired.

Never have I ever been so surprised by how much good can be in peoples hearts.

Never have I ever wanted some candy more.

Never have I ever wanted to watch glee so bad.

Never have I ever wanted you back.

Grow up.

There are some amazing people out there in the world. With each new day, I get a new little surprise from someone different showing their true character. I got a message from the most unlikely person last night and it gave me hope that through all the bullshit and drama, there are still good people out there in the world. I am scared though. It seems like my best friend is going down a very destructive path and it really worries me. He seems to be drifting further and further away from his goals and it is so hard to watch. I wish he would just see that I do care about him so much no matter what and I am here for him.

So as stupid as this sounds I have been addicted to a couple very weird shows lately: Laguna Beach (oldie but goodie), the hills (obvi), Gossip Girl (xoxo), pretty little liars (dumb but good), and GLEE (AMAZING). I really do have a life I swear but I work close to 45 hours a week in a boring office building so Hulu and other online tv show sites have become my best friends. I realized that all these shows have something in common which is the one thing that draws me to them. They all go through some sort of high school/college drama which is so addicting to watch. I myself hate drama but I always find myself in it. I dont like fighting with people because I have a hard time fully trying to say what I want to say and I have a hard time filtering what is on my mind vs. what I should say so when I do have drama with people I tend to get almost....bitchy. Watching these shows makes me dream about my life as a reality star and what a show about my life would be like. I mean I am def not a heart throb like Kristen Cavalari or Lauren Conrad, and I am not an amazing singer like Rachel from Glee but I feel like I have a lot to say about a lot of things and on good days, my friends and I have some pretty fun/funny times/moments. I am honestly pondering a tv show I could start...that would be so fun I think.

I have always had some sort of an anger problem. But lately my anger is almost overpowering my life. I feel the urge to punch anyone that irks me in the face and I dont know how guilty I would truly feel. Take for example the other day. My sister used my computer without asking. Small thing I know, but EVERY single time she comes home I politely ask her to ASK ME before she uses my computer. This this she came home she didnt ask and I got so mad I told her that next time she used it without asking I would rip her face off and sew it to mine and go do terrible things.....I think my mom was pretty worried.

Anywho. todays a good day. I cant really keep my eyes open but I am trying SUPER hard. ohkaaaybuhhheyeeee

-Kim